1562 Best Humor Quotes

You're the one who wanted to be a Wilson sister so bad. – Kevin Copeland

I'm not a rapper. I'm an R&B singer. – Latrell Spencer

We're in a lot of trouble. – Kevin Copeland

You have to be the whitest black man I have ever seen. – Denise Porter

We're not sisters, we're brothers! – Marcus Copeland

What are we going to do tonight, Brain? – Pinky

Narf! – Pinky

Are you pondering what I'm pondering? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour? – Pinky

Yes, Pinky. But first, I must attend to the trifling matter of... controlling the mind of every living human. – The Brain

They're Pinky and the Brain, yes, Pinky and the Brain, one is a genius, the other's insane. – Theme Song

I think so, Brain, but if they called them 'sad meals', kids wouldn't buy them! – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but this time you put the trousers on the chimp. – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so. – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but I get all clammy inside the tent. – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but how are we going to find chaps our size? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but if you get a long little doggie, wouldn't it be a dachshund? – Pinky

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? ... I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but what if the hippopotamus won't wear the beach thong? – Pinky

I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? – Pinky

Poit! – Pinky

I'm a doctor, not a [various things]! – Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a physicist! – Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

One damn minute, Admiral. – Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy

Hasta la vista, baby. – The Terminator

Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women. – Quint

That's a bad hat, Harry. – Chief Martin Brody

You're hot, Cupcake. – Vi

Heimerdinger? The guy's a fossil. A cute, cuddly fossil, but a fossil. – Jayce Talis

You’re a genius, you know that? And not just because you agree with me. – Jayce Talis

You see, if you shoot me, you'll lose your powers. They only work if you're alive. – Clarence

Is this the ear you can't hear on? – George Bailey

Could you describe the ruckus, sir? – Brian

You know, I have just one, simple question for you. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? – Bender

Well, what do you want? I'm a fucking astronaut. – Bender

I'm not a thief, I'm a retrieval specialist. – Bender

So, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What's that? – Bender

I asked him if he had any of them French fried potaters. I reckon I like them the best. – Karl Childers

It’s a beautiful day to be a bad guy. – Hank Moody

I am the god of hellfire! – Charlie Runkle

You can’t polish a turd. But you can roll it in glitter. – Hank Moody

You’re not a loser. You’re just... temporarily not winning. – Hank Moody

I’m not a sex addict. I’m just… Italian. – Hank Moody

You know, for a writer, a reputation is as important as a penis. You only need one, and it’s best if it’s long and hard. – Hank Moody

I'm not good at the goodbye thing. So, you know, whatever. – Hank Moody

I'm not a role model. I'm a cautionary tale. – Hank Moody

I have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. – Hank Moody

You can’t win with women. You can only try to lose less. – Charlie Runkle