1562 Best Humor Quotes

Or are you doing this for yourself? To fill a dark, empty, soulless void inside of you? – Derek Zoolander

Yada, yada, yada.

Not that there's anything wrong with that! – Jerry Seinfeld

No soup for you! – Soup Nazi

Serenity now!

These pretzels are making me thirsty! – Kramer

I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin' every minute of it! – Kramer

Hello, Newman. – Jerry Seinfeld

You gotta see the baby! – Frank Costanza

I was in the pool! – George Costanza

He's a re-gifter! – Jerry Seinfeld

The sea was angry that day, my friends. – George Costanza

It's not a lie if you believe it. – George Costanza

I'm the Wiz! And nobody beats me! – Kramer

You're so good-lookin'. – Lloyd Braun

We're living in a society! – George Costanza

That's a shame. – Jimmy

I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman! – Kramer

Festivus for the rest of us! – Frank Costanza

The jerk store called, they're running out of you! – George Costanza

I choose not to run! – George Costanza

You know we're living in a society! – George Costanza

My wallet's gone! – J. Peterman

You're a rabid anti-dentite! – Tim Whatley

I've got a lot of problems with you people! – Frank Costanza

The double-dip! – George Costanza

Spongeworthy? – Elaine Benes

He took it out. – Jerry Seinfeld

I'm speechless. I am without speech. – Elaine Benes

The big salad. – George Costanza

I'm back, baby! – Kramer

I'm into, uh, well, murders and executions, mostly. – Patrick Bateman

Is that a raincoat? – Luis Carruthers. Yes, it is! – Patrick Bateman

Hey, Paul! – Patrick Bateman

My name a Borat. I come from Kazakhstan. – Borat

This is my neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay. He is a pain in my assholes. – Borat

I like you. I like sex. Is it nice? – Borat

In Kazakhstan, it is illegal for a woman to speak in public. Unless she is told to by a man. – Borat

I have arrived in the U-S-and-A! – Borat

In my country, we have a saying: A man who is like a rock will never be a good lover. – Borat

This suit is a black, color of night. Very official for a meeting with a prostitute. – Borat

I have two feelings: happy and disappointment. – Borat

You will never get this! You will never get this! La la la la! But then one day, he get this! – Borat

High five! – Borat

We have a saying in my country: Do not worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. – Borat

My wife is a strongest woman in all my village. She can punch a horse. – Borat

Very nice! How much? – Borat

This is a traditional greeting from my country. – Borat

He is my brother Bilo. He is the fourth most famous man in my village, and a top gypsy crime reporter. – Borat

May I offer you a complimentary slice of cheese? – Borat