1562 Best Humor Quotes

Normal is just a setting on the dryer. – Penelope Garcia

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. – Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about. – Oscar Wilde

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train. – Oscar Wilde

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. – Socrates

You have a voice that could start a fight in an empty house. – Simon Cowell

That was like watching a kitten trying to climb a mountain. – Simon Cowell

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. – Stanley Kubrick

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar as a bookmark? – Steven Spielberg

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. – Alfred Hitchcock

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. – Alfred Hitchcock