1562 Best Humor Quotes

Let's just say this plan is... not totally unlike my own. – Mr. Fox

He's been seeing a conflict-resolution counselor. – Mrs. Fox

The cuss you are! – Mr. Fox

You're supposed to be my lab partner. That means when I blow myself up, you're blown up too. – Ash

You wrote a bad song, Petey! – Mrs. Bean

He's been dead for 12 hours. When a fox dies, it's dead forever. – Rat

I'm a working man. I enjoy working. I'm a work-obsessed, type-A, workaholic. – Mr. Fox

We're not thieves. We're just... survivalists. – Mr. Fox

He's not smart enough to be a master planner. He's not smart enough for that. – Mrs. Bean

That's a negative, skipper. – Kylie

I think I just had a psychic episode. – Kylie

I'm not a psycho, I'm an individual, and I'm a freshman, and I'm from L.A. – Crawl

Don't you people have any concept of time? – Crawl

It's a Thanksgiving miracle! – Crawl

You're in South Dakota. We don't jiggle we wiggle. – Rebecca

I'm not a farmer, I'm a fraternity brother from Los Angeles. – Crawl

My biological clock is ticking so loud it's messing up my hair! – Crawl

You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can by its first chapter. – Crawl

I'm not used to being around so much... sincerity. – Crawl

I'm not a bad person, I'm just a little different. – Crawl

I'm not a Thanksgiving dinner, I'm a person! – Crawl

You're the only person I know who can make overalls look like a fashion statement. – Crawl

I'm not a turkey, I'm a person! – Rebecca

I'm not a Thanksgiving turkey, I'm a person! – Crawl

You can't buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket and that's pretty close. – Crawl

I'm not a psycho, I'm your daughter's boyfriend. – Crawl

That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. – Wooderson

Alright, alright, alright. – Randall 'Pink' Floyd

Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here. – Wooderson

Well, while you're doin' that, I'll be at the party, getting brain. – Don

You got a joint on you? – Wooderson

I'm here to amuse you? Well, that's fine. – Tony

That's why they call me the boss. – Cynthia

You're a bum! You're a bum! – Mike

Be a lot cooler if you did. – Wooderson

Don't think. It can only hurt the ball club. – Crash Davis

Well, he really hit the shit outta that one, didn't he? – Larry

Why do you get to get? I want to get! – Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh

The rose goes in the front, big guy. – Crash Davis

I like the high hard one. – Annie Savoy

You know, a guy can get kicked in the head and get amnesia and forget who he is, and it's a blessing. – Jimmy

We're dealing with a lot of stuff. – Skip

I got a friend who's a priest. And another friend who's a Jewish. I think there's a lot of religions. – Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' LaLoosh

You're not supposed to lead the league in nose hairs. – Annie Savoy

What do you got, meat? – Crash Davis

I want you to breathe through your eyelids. – Crash Davis

You know, you could've told me he was a little flakey. – Millie

Excuse me while I whip this out. – Bart

We're going to need a shitload of dimes. – Hedley Lamarr

Mongo only pawn in game of life. – Mongo