1562 Best Humor Quotes

PUNY GOD! – Hulk

Big monster! – Hulk

He's a friend from work! – Thor

There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that. – Steve Rogers

You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed, walk it off. – Steve Rogers

On your left. – Steve Rogers

I'm not the one who's on fire. – Steve Rogers

Hulk... smash. – Steve Rogers

Language! – Steve Rogers

That is America's ass. – Steve Rogers

Go fuck yourself. – Wolverine

You're a dick. – Wolverine

It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. – Indiana Jones

It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage. – Indiana Jones

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes? – Indiana Jones

I'm like a bad penny. I always turn up. – Indiana Jones

X never, ever marks the spot. – Indiana Jones

No ticket. – Indiana Jones

I don't know, I'm making this up as I go. – Indiana Jones

I said no camels, that's five camels. Can't you count? – Sallah

Part-time. – Indiana Jones

It's not the years, it's the mileage. – Indiana Jones

Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors? – Mrs. Lancaster

Don't mess with me, pork chop! – Phil Connors

I'm dating a woman who thinks the Second Amendment is the right to bear arms. – Larry

I'm having a déjà vu. – Phil Connors

Oh my God, they killed Kenny! – Stan Marsh

You bastards! – Kenny McCormick

Respect my authoritah! – Eric Cartman

I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive. – Eric Cartman

You will respect my authoritah! – Eric Cartman

Whatever, I do what I want! – Eric Cartman

How do I rewind this? – Eric Cartman

I'm not fat, I'm big-boned! – Eric Cartman

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Let's not start suckin' each other's dicks quite yet. – Chef

There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college. – Chef

M'kay. – Mr. Mackey

Drugs are bad, m'kay? – Mr. Mackey

If you want to find some quality friends, you've got to wade through all the dicks first. – Eric Cartman

Wow, this is pretty controversial. – Butters Stotch

I'm not a hippie, I'm a pacifist! – Stan Marsh

I'm scared, and I'm confused, and I think I wet myself. – Butters Stotch

I'm not having a glass of wine, I'm having six. It's called a tasting, and it's classy. – Randy Marsh

You know, I've learned that sometimes in life, you have to say, 'Screw the rules, I have money.' – Eric Cartman

Loo loo loo, I've got some apples. Loo loo loo, you've got some too. – Eric Cartman

I'm not a racist, I hate everyone equally. – Eric Cartman

I'm just a little boy. I'm scared, and I want my mommy. – Eric Cartman

Don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars. – Eric Cartman

The world is a cynical, duplicitous place, and I'm just a part of it. – Eric Cartman

I'm not a fan of books. They're all fact, no heart. – Eric Cartman