1562 Best Humor Quotes

It's all part of the show, folks! Watch closely, now! – Genie

You're watching a master at work. – Genie

Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck! – Genie

Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons? – Li Shang

Would you like to stay forever? – Li Shang

Now all of China knows you're here. – Mushu

Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow! – Mushu

This is just... a little... temporary setback! – Mushu

I'm travel-sized for your convenience! – Mushu

I'm gonna need a montage! – Mushu

My little baby, off to destroy people. – Grandmother Fa

She's a friend from the village. She's... uh... crazy. – Mulan

You fight good. – Mulan

I see you have a sword. I have one, too. They're both a part of the Wu-Shu tradition. – Mulan

You miss your fish? – Mulan

My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best. – Winston Churchill

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. – Winston Churchill

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. – Albert Einstein

The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

I am short, fat, and proud of that.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"

You’re just in time for a little smackerel of something.

They’re funny things, Accidents. You never have them till you’re having them.

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me.

Never tell me the odds! – Han Solo

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. – Qui-Gon Jinn

I've got a bad feeling about this.

Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director. – Darth Vader

Hello there. – Obi-Wan Kenobi

I know. – Han Solo

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean we all have. – Hermione Granger

There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them. – Narrator

Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. – Arthur Weasley

Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús... we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.

I'm not sure what to do with my hands.

Help me, Tom Cruise! Use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!

You're not a fireman, you're a fireman's friend. It's a sticker, it's not even a magnet.

I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

Cal, I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. I don't know what "periphery" means. Is that like a fishing thing?

From the din of the Donkey!

I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!

Reese Bobby: If you don't chew Big Red, then fuck you.

I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't have Big Red, then fuck you.

You know, night time is the right time.

I like to think of Jesus like, with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk!

I've got a belly full of badgers and a truckload of whoop-ass!

Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby!

I'm going to do what I should have done a long time ago: take this terrible shirt back to the store.

This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons.