1562 Best Humor Quotes

The kid is an L-7 weenie, but he's all right. – Ham Porter

You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!

This is gonna be good. Gumbo, jambalaya, crawfish pie... – Louis

You sure this little lady is a frog? She's a whole lot hairier than I expected. – Louis

I am not kissing a frog and that is that! – Charlotte La Bouff

You kissed a frog? That is so romantic! – Charlotte La Bouff

You are a little odd, but I like you. – Prince Naveen

You almost got us killed! And you ruined my only dress! – Tiana

You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you. – The Teenagers

I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed? – Chastity

I burn, I pine, I perish. – Cameron James

I have a dick. On my face. – Michael Eckman

My dad's a little bit of a fascist. – Bianca Stratford

But you know, it's a metaphor. The, uh, the marching band, it's a metaphor for... the way that you are. – Cameron James

Just because I'm a dad doesn't mean I'm imbecilic. I was hip. I was with it. – Walter Stratford

I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack. – Chastity

I get a little bitchy when I'm hungry. – Bianca Stratford

So, what's your damage? You got a case of the Mondays that lasts all week? – Patrick Verona

I want you. I need you. Oh, baby, oh, baby. – Joey Donner

My favorite color is probably plaid. – Cameron James

I'm down. I'm there. I'm in. – Michael Eckman

She's been weird since she went to that hippie girl camp. – Bianca Stratford

You got a 710 on your verbal. It's like... you're smart. – Michael Eckman

My name is Batman. And it's not Bruce! – Batman

I have aged incredibly well. – Batman

Dark times. The only thing I have in the fridge is half a pint of milk that's about to go bad... and some mustard. And I'm eating it. – Batman

What am I going to do? Buy a gallery? I'm not gonna buy a gallery. – Batman

I have a big box of nothing. – Batman

You see, Dick, criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot... – Batman

So, let me get this straight. You took an orphaned child to the one place in Gotham where the most dangerous villains are kept? – Barbara Gordon

I'm not adopting you. – Batman

I'm not just going to let you ruin my one night of self-indulgent brooding! – Batman

I have a 9:00 reservation... to punch crime. – Batman

You can't fight crime without a cool entry. – Batman

I'm the positive reinforcement he never had. – Batman (about Robin)

I'm the king of the world! On a dragon! – The Joker

Audrey, I'm going to talk to you as if you're a serious person. May I? – Dale Cooper

This must be where pies go when they die. – Dale Cooper

I am not your foot. – The Man From Another Place

Damn good coffee! – Dale Cooper

I'm as blank as a fart. – Sheriff Harry S. Truman

Why is the rum always gone? – Jack Sparrow

This is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow! – Jack Sparrow

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. – Jack Sparrow

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it! – Jack Sparrow

Savvy? – Jack Sparrow

My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled. – Jack Sparrow

I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means 'no'. – Hector Barbossa

Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again. – Jack Sparrow

I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. – Jack Sparrow