39 Best Crime Quotes

If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on a little merry-go-round, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that. - Jack Handey

If you ever see a crime being committed, be sure to stop and think: 'Do I really want to get involved here?' - Jack Handey

If you ever get caught stealing, just say you were taking a survey on shoplifting. - Jack Handey

If you ever get caught stealing candy from a baby, just say you were teaching it about sharing. - Jack Handey

I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line. – Batman

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. – Henry Hill

Karen: He was putting me right in the middle of everything. And I loved it.

I'm a fat fuckin' crook from New Jersey. – Tony Soprano

This thing of ours... it's all about the money. – Hesh Rabkin

Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy? – Stringer Bell

You are not killing them yourself. You are just moving the money from one place to another. – Stringer Bell

The lesson is, if you're going to be a criminal, do your homework. – Mike Ehrmantraut

Just because you shot Jesse James, don't make you Jesse James. – Mike Ehrmantraut

The world is full of wolves, and if you see one, you better be ready to howl. – Daniel "Pryce" Wormald

You play with fire, you get burned. – Mike Ehrmantraut

I'm not a monster. I'm a businessman. – Gus Fring

I'm not a hero. I'm a high-risk offender. – Jimmy McGill

We are not killers. We are businessmen. – Josto Fadda

You know what prison is? A criminal's library. – Clay Morrow

You can’t just go around killing people. It’s messy. It draws attention. – Marty Byrde

All this for a loaf of bread? You're only in trouble if you get caught. – Razoul

The wickedness of men is that they can become accustomed to crime.

This town deserves a better class of criminal, and I’m gonna give it to them. – The Joker

If you’re good at something, never do it for free. – The Joker

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. – Walter Sobchak

I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming! – Harry Dunne

You know, the gas man. He's a wise guy. – Harry Dunne

We're the Wet Bandits! – Marv Merchants

I'm not a burglar, I'm an exterminator! – Harry Lyme

We're not terrorists. – Hans Gruber

Was all this legal? Absolutely not. – Jordan Belfort

You're not a criminal until you get caught. – Cruzito

You sold out your own blood. – Cruzito

You see, Dick, criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot... – Batman

I have a 9:00 reservation... to punch crime. – Batman

I'm vengeance. – Batman

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges! – Taggart's Gang

The greater the hatred, the more personal the crime. – David Rossi

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. – Aristotle