If you ever get lost in the woods, just follow the river. Unless the river is flowing the wrong way, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in the desert, just follow your shadow. Unless it's nighttime, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a cave, just follow the bats. Unless they're flying toward you, in which case you should probably run the other way. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost at sea, just follow the stars. Unless it's daytime, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a blizzard, just follow your footprints. Unless they've been covered by snow, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a forest, just follow the sound of running water. Unless it's a waterfall, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a maze, just keep turning right. Unless it's one of those mazes where that doesn't work, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a desert, just follow the mirage. Unless it's leading you toward more desert, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a swamp, just follow the alligators. Unless they're following you, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey0
If you ever get lost in a jungle, just follow the monkeys. Unless they're running away from something, in which case you should probably run too. - Jack Handey0
I live in a world of phantoms and dreams, and I have the greatest difficulty in finding my way. – Ingmar Bergman0