9 Best Defeatism Quotes

If you ever get lost in the woods, just follow the river. Unless the river is flowing the wrong way, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in the desert, just follow your shadow. Unless it's nighttime, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost at sea, just follow the stars. Unless it's daytime, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in a blizzard, just follow your footprints. Unless they've been covered by snow, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in a forest, just follow the sound of running water. Unless it's a waterfall, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get attacked by a bear, try to climb a tree. Unless it's a grizzly bear, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in a maze, just keep turning right. Unless it's one of those mazes where that doesn't work, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in a desert, just follow the mirage. Unless it's leading you toward more desert, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey

If you ever get lost in a swamp, just follow the alligators. Unless they're following you, in which case you should probably just sit down and cry. - Jack Handey