384 Best Movie Quotes

Stanley Goodspeed: [while in the tunnels underneath Alcatraz] You enjoying this?
John Mason: Well, it's certainly more enjoyable than my average day... reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms... though, it's less of a problem these days. Maybe I'm losing my sex appeal.

Stanley Goodspeed: [to Mason] Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?

John Mason: [in the interrogation room] I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.
Stanley Goodspeed: May I also suggest a haircut?
John Mason: Am I out of style?
Stanley Goodspeed: Unless you're a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It's a grunge thing.

Paul (hotel barber): [to Mason, in the elevator] Okay, I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?

Stanley Goodspeed: [in the lower lighthouse] Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed, FBl. Uh - Let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, "Rocket Man"?
Captain Darrow: I don't like soft-ass shit.
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, you - Oh, oh. Oh. Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket Man.
[Goodspeed fires a rocket at him]

Captain Darrow: Excuse me, general... but what about the fucking money?
General Hummel: There is no fucking money. The mission's over.
Captain Frye: Bullshit it's over!
Major Tom Baxter: You're talking to a General, soldier! Maintain discipline.
Captain Darrow: I'm not a soldier, Major. The day we took hostages, we became mercenaries. And mercenaries get paid. I want my FUCKING money!

Agent Paxton: [in the interrogation room] Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton.
John Mason: In charge of what? Fucking me over for another three decades?
Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a situation that we think you can help us with.
John Mason: And what might that be? I've been in jail longer than Nelson Mandela, so maybe you want me to run for president.

Stanley Goodspeed: [while in a cell on Alcatraz] You broke out, let me see if I can get this straight, down the incinerator chute, on the mine car, through the tunnels to the power plant, under the steam engine - that was really cool by the way - and into the cistern through the intake pipe. But how, in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE!... did you get out of your cell? I only ask because in our current situation, well, it could prove to be useful information. *Maybe*!
[Mason does not answer, but opens up his prison door with an improvised tool]
Stanley Goodspeed: [Goodspeed hears noise from Mason's door opening] Mason?
[to Goodspeed's surprise, his own door suddenly opens]
John Mason: Trade secrets, my son.

Stanley Goodspeed: Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.

General Hummel: Remember Operation Desert Storm? Those surgical hits made by our smart bombs that were covered so well on CNN? It was my men on the ground that made those hits possible by lazing the targets. Twenty of those men were left to rot outside Baghdad after the conflict ended. No benefits were paid to their families. No medals conferred. These men died for their country and they weren't even given a goddamn military burial. This situation is unacceptable. You will transfer one hundred million dollars from Grand Cayman Red Sea trading company to an account I designate. From these funds, one million dollars will be paid to each of the eighty-three marines' families. The rest of the funds, I will disperse at my discretion. Do I make myself clear?
Womack: Except for the Red Sea Trading Company. What is that?
General Hummel: Identify yourself.
Womack: This is FBI Director Womack, General.
General Hummel: It's a slush-fund where the Pentagon keeps proceeds from illegal arms deals...
General Al Kramer: Jesus, Frank, this is classified information!
General Hummel: You alert the media, I launch the gas. You refuse payment, I launch the gas. You've got forty hours, until noon, day after tomorrow, to arrange transfer of the money. I am aware of your countermeasure. You know and I know it doesn't stand a chance. Hummel from Alcatraz, out.

General Hummel: Major Anderson, if you have any concern for the lives of your men, you will order them to safety their weapons and place them on the deck.
Agent Paxton: This is not happening...
Commander Anderson: Sir, we know why you're out here. God knows, I agree with you. But like you, I swore to defend this country against all enemies, foreign, sir... and domestic. General, we've spilled the same blood in the same mud. And you know god damn well I can't give that order.
Navy SEAL: We're dead!
General Hummel: Your unit is covered from an elevated position, Commander. I'm not gonna ask you again. Don't do anything stupid. No-one has to die here.
Commander Anderson: [raising his voice] You men following the General: you're under oath as United States Marines, have you forgotten that? We all have shipmates we remember, some of them were shit on and pissed on by the Pentagon. But that doesn't give you the right to mutiny!
General Hummel: You call it what you want! You're down there, we're up here! You walked into the wrong goddamn room, Commander!

Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China.
General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself!
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General.
General Hummel: How OLD are you Mr. Sinclair?
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: I'm 33.
General Hummel: Well Mr. Sinclair, you've probably got no FUCKING idea what I'm talking about! By your 9th birthday, I was running BlackOps into China and my men were responsible for over two-hundred enemy kills. Now someone put some rigging tape over Mr. Sinclair's mouth, he's wasting my time!

FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas?
Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Somehow the bottle carbonated. Voila, champagne, and uhh, then the whole thing...
FBI Director Womack: The gas, Dr. Goodspeed.
Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: It's very, very horrible sir. It's one of those things we wish we could disinvent. This isn't a training exercise, is it?

John Mason: [in the interrogation room] Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.
Stanley Goodspeed: "I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts."
John Mason: Ah, an educated man.
[Stanley gives a modest wave]
John Mason: That, of course, rules out the possibility of you being a field agent.

John Mason: [to the Navy Seals, after opening a locked door from the inside] Welcome to the Rock.

Stanley Goodspeed: [last lines]
Stanley Goodspeed: [while looking at the microfilm by using a miniature magnifying glass that was left by Mason] Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?

Commander Anderson: Have you ever been in a combat situation before?
Stanley Goodspeed: Define combat, sir.
Commander Anderson: Shep?
Lt. Shephard: An incursion underwater to re-take an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines, in possession of eighty-one hostages and fifteen guided rockets loaded with V.X. poison gas.
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh. In that case, no sir. Excuse me...

Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
Rob: You don't call.
Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don't call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what's the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There's the rub.
Rob: There's the rub.

Trent: Baby, that was money! Tell me that wasn't money.
Mike: That was so demeaning.
Trent: She smiled, baby.
Mike: I can't believe what an asshole you are.
Trent: Did she, or did she not smile.
Mike: She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
Trent: She was smiling at how money I am, baby.

Trent: I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.

[playing a hockey video game]
Trent: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Mike: What? They don't have fighting anymore?
Trent: Doesn't that suck?
Mike: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Sue: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
Trent: Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Mike: Make somebody's head bleed.
Sue: No man, we're in the playoffs.

[repeated line]
Charles: This place is dead anyways.

Trent: I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here.

Mike: How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

[on the way to Las Vegas]
Trent: They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite, you dig that?
Mike: Do you think we'll get there by midnight?
Trent: Baby, we're going to be up five hundy by midnight!
Mike: Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!
Trent: Vegas baby! Vegas!
Mike: Vegas!

Mike: What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Sue: Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
Trent: Anaheim.
Sue: Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.

Mike: You shouldn't be sorry, you're a winner. I'm the fucking loser. I'm the one who should be sorry.
Trent: Baby don't talk that way.
Mike: Can we just go, please, can we go?
Trent: Baby look at me, look at me. You're money, and you know what else? You're a big winner tonight.
Mike: I want to leave.
Trent: You're a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins.

Trent: So, what'd you think of that Dorothy girl?
Mike: The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that make me some kind of fag?
Trent: No, baby, you're money.

Trent: Look at this, okay? I want you to remember this face, here. Okay? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.

Trent: There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party.

[bemoaning his audition for role of Goofy at Disney Land]
Rob: Why does it have to be Goofy? Why couldn't it be Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Mike: What do want? You're tall.

Trent: Vegas, baby. Vegas.

Trent: Um... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it.

Trent: Y'know, it's not so much me as Roenick; he's good.

[Trent talks a girl into meeting them later and bringing a friend]
Mike: That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.

Mike: Haven't you seen Boyz N The Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot.

Trent: I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
Mike: Yeah, well they're all skanks.
Trent: What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here.
Mike: The beautiful babies don't work the midnights-to-six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift.
Trent: Look at all the beautiful honeys here.

Trent: You take yourself out of the game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.

Mike: Hi.
Lorraine: Hi.
Mike: I'm Mike.
Lorraine: Hi Mike, I'm Lorraine.
Mike: Like the quiche.
Lorraine: Like the quiche? That's a really original joke.
Mike: I like quiche.
Lorraine: I thought real men didn't like quich?
Mike: Well, it seems my reputation had preceded me here.
Lorraine: You not a real man?
Mike: Not lately.

Isabella Swan: [Edward jumps down off the roof of Bella's truck] Could you act human? Okay, I have neighbors.
Edward Cullen: I'm gonna take you to my place tomorrow.
[Pulls dent in Bella's truck back into correct place]
Isabella Swan: Thanks... Er, wait, like with your family?
Edward Cullen: Yeah.
Isabella Swan: W-what if they don't like me?
Edward Cullen: So you're worried, not because you'll be in a house full of vampires, but because you think they won't approve of you?
[laughs]
Isabella Swan: [unsmiling] I'm glad I amuse you.

Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.

Isabella Swan: I'd never given much though to how I would die. But dying in place of someone I love, seems like a good way to go. I can't bring myself to regret the decisions that brought me face to face with death. They also brought me to Edward.

Isabella Swan: It's like diamonds... you're beautiful.
Edward Cullen: Beautiful? This is the skin of a killer, Bella... I'm a killer.
Isabella Swan: I don't believe that.
Edward Cullen: That's because you believe only the lies... the camouflage. I'm the world's most dangerous predator, Bella. Every thing about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that... as if you could out run me... as if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill.
Isabella Swan: I don't care.
Edward Cullen: I've killed people before.
Isabella Swan: It does not matter.
Edward Cullen: I wanted to kill you at first. I've never wanted a human's blood so much, before.
Isabella Swan: I trust you.
Edward Cullen: Don't.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don't.

Isabella Swan: [to Edward, her back to him] You're impossibly fast. And strong. Your skin is... pale white, and ice cold. Your eyes change color... and sometimes you speak like - like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything; you don't go into the sunlight.
[pause, silence]
Isabella Swan: How old are you?
Edward Cullen: Seventeen.
Isabella Swan: How long have you been seventeen?
Edward Cullen: ...a while.
Isabella Swan: I know what you are.
Edward Cullen: Say it... out loud. Say it.
Isabella Swan: Vampire.
Edward Cullen: Are you afraid?
Isabella Swan: [turns to face him] ... no.
Edward Cullen: Then ask me the most basic question: What do we eat?

Edward Cullen: [to Bella before going into the prom after Jacob leaves] I leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend.

Isabella Swan: Look, You gotta give me some answers.
Edward Cullen: Yes. No. To get to the other side. Uh, 1.77245...
Isabella Swan: I don't want to know what the square root of pi is.
Edward Cullen: You knew that?

Isabella Swan: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward Cullen: Yeah. Um... I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. You can Google it.

Edward Cullen: What did you expect? Coffins and dungeons and moats?
Isabella Swan: No, not the moats.
Edward Cullen: Not the moats.

Edward Cullen: I should go back there and rip those guys' heads off.
Isabella Swan: Um... No, you shouldn't.
Edward Cullen: You don't know the vile, repulsive things they were thinking.
Isabella Swan: And you do?
Edward Cullen: It's not hard to guess.
Edward Cullen: Can you talk about something else? Distract me so i won't turn around.
Isabella Swan: You should put your seat belt on.
Edward Cullen: Haha... you should put your seat belt on!