12 Best Comedy Quotes

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. - Jack Handey

I haven’t had a drink in 13 years… well, not counting today. – Rob Hilliard

I think I just made a boom-boom. – Marcus Higgins

That’s not a yoga pose, that’s a seizure. – Kurt McKenzie

I didn’t pee in the pool. It was… someone else. – Marcus Higgins

Get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know? Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in a shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together. – Jerry

You have to turn them on, Morty! The shoes have to be turned on! – Rick

Oh, yeah, you gotta get schwifty. – The Head of the Giant Floating God Head

Not fun, not fun, not fun! – Morty

I'm Mr. Crowbar. And here is my friend, who is also a crowbar! – Morty

The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there's preschool toys present. – Mr. Potato Head

This is intolerable! – Dr. Henry Jones Sr.